Weekly Firesign Chat Cheese Log

A Firesign Chat
01/22/2026

Archive

||||||||| Catherwood re-enters the Waiting Room and explains "This is the main discussion room which is logged each night."
||||||||| Catherwood announces, "The time is 4:32 AM - I now declare Thursday's chat log for January 22, 2026 officially open!"... and then, he retires back to the vestibule...
||||||||| Tweeny waltzes in at 8:00 PM carrying an obsidian door knocker.
||||||||| New notice: '** WE'RE GLAD YOU MADE IT!! **
The Firesign Chat & Show starts at 7pm Eastern/6pm Central/5pm Mountain/4pm Pacific
Tonight: ** FIRESIGN’S OPENING QUADRILOGY **
A Replay of a show from January 18, 2024
Firesign's DON''T CRUSH THAT DWARF HAND ME THE PLIERS
plus from the BOX OF DANGER collection “Snakehead Symphony”
and THE BRIDE OF FIRESIGN
Listen to the 256k stream at: http://listen.ehhh.us:8000/rfd2 or the 16k stream at: http://listen.ehhh.us:8000/rfd1
This show is archived at www.kurtericson.net/firesign | Cat’s collage archive is at www.kurtericson.net/cat'
||||||||| Tweeny rushes off, saying "8:00 PM? Mark Time is almost on! Where's a radio?"
||||||||| Catherwood strides in with a trumpet, plays a fanfare, and proclaims "Nine PM on Thursday, January 22, 2026 - I now declare alt.comedy.firesgn-thtre's chat officially open!" -- then he looks around at the empty room, looks at his watch, and mumbles "...am I early?"
||||||||| Gusts of wind blow in from outside and the thumpa-thumpa-thumpa of helicopter blades is heard as Happy Panditt's chopper lands on the lawn and Deputy Dang disembarks at 8:00 PM.
||||||||| At 8:00 PM, Deputy Dang vanishes mysteriously -- just as Nino the Mind Boggler predicted!
||||||||| Catherwood steals into the room, and pipes up "Announcing 'cease', also known as 'Nancy' -- the time is 8:00 PM" -- then he slowly retires back into the anteroom...
||||||||| Catherwood walks in wearing his pyjamas, yawns, and mumbles "It's midnight here in New York city"...then he falls over and starts snoring loudly..
||||||||| Gusts of wind blow in from outside and the thumpa-thumpa-thumpa of helicopter blades is heard as Happy Panditt's chopper lands on the lawn and Mutt falls out at 8:00 PM.
||||||||| With a theatrical clearing of his throat, Catherwood announces: "8:00 PM and late as usual, it's Deputy Dang, just back from Billville."
Deputy Dang: Howdy, cease! Howdy, Mutt!
||||||||| Catherwood stumbles in at 8:00 PM, dragging Beet by the hair and asks "Can anyone vouch for this idiot?"
Mutt: Hiya Deputy!
Deputy Dang: Howdy, Beet!
Beet: Evening, Friends!
cease: HI folks
Mutt: Hey Beet!
Mutt: Mr. C!
cease: Lots of news
Beet: Hi, Deputy, cease, Mutt.
||||||||| Catherwood interjects: "I hate rich people. I hate them and their stupid problems."
Beet: I'm ready for some news.
Mutt: Hopefully good news
cease: Bruce is turning this album into what he calls a visualization. It's spectacular
cease: I
cease: I'm sure he'll post it in the usual places when it's done.
Beet: Very cool!
cease: 2nd, I've been in regular touch with Ossman and the Firesign flick is being made as we type.
Mutt: Excellent
||||||||| Catherwood interjects: "They had to come from small towns with strange names."
cease: Will dig up his last email to me with lots of details.
Beet: This is great news indeed.
cease: 3rd, the not good news. I was hit by a car yesterday.
Mutt: Oh no. Are you alright?
||||||||| Catherwood interjects: "Guaranteed by the Department of Redundancy Dept. and the Natural Guard."
||||||||| Catherwood stomps in at 8:00 PM, dragging llanwydd by one leg and asks "Can anyone vouch for this yahoo?"
cease: That never happened to me before.
llanwydd: good evening
Deputy Dang: Howdy, llanwydd!
Beet: Oh, no. I hope you are OK!
cease: Sore elbow. Maybe a few other rather minor things.
Mutt: Hey Llan!
cease: HI llan.
Beet: Hi, llan.
Mutt: Jeebus! You were lucky
cease: Our local library has a sound studio and I went in yesterday morning and recorded myself. Sounded fantastic. Took bus to near my house and just as i was crossing the street, a few meters from my house, I saw a car turning onto my street and assumed he'
cease: he'd stop. I was wrong.
llanwydd: glad you are ok cat
cease: I was knocked down on the street.
Mutt: Scary as f—-
cease: No shit.
cease: The 3 young men got out of the car and asked if i needed an ambulance. I said no, but needed to be helpd up.
Beet: Did the driver finally stop?
Mutt: At least they had the decency to stop
cease: My elbow was bleeding and my wife bandaged it. Still hurts but not severely.
cease: Yeah, they were suitably freaked out. Said they didn't see me.
Beet: Were the cops called?
Mutt: Drivers are insane these days. Everyone is either distracted or angry
cease: My reminder to always make eye contact the driver as I creoss any street with oncoming traffic.
cease: Yeah, could well have been distracted. Thankfully, driving slow as it was a turn
cease: Then today, I realized something. all 3 men were wearing reflective vests.
Mutt: Still, F=MA and the M of that car far exceeds yours
cease: They're worn by cirty contruction workers when working on the roads, so THEY DONT GET HIT BY CARS
Mutt: You are so lucky, my friend
cease: n Tue, Jan 20, 2026 at 11:30 AM David Ossman <davidossman@whidbey.com> wrote: Thanks for sending this again - it’s a useful run-down and I’ll send it on to the producing staff with some thoughts - the pre-FT bios - up to the moment PP sits on PB’s face, which seems to me the actual beginning of TFT - in the midst of a riot - it has that beginning of Dwarf right there - disjointed and unexplained. Still Waiting is a good listen for everyone I’ll have TJ point it out - since the producers now have the files. You uniquely remember words of mine that I’ve long forgotten - say thank you for that. Bruce has animated the copter shot. I’ve made notes on how to watch the Home Movies DVD for everyone - the chunk of Yale Retorts is inspirational - and the DF broadcasts with the dialog
llanwydd: I have never heard of that equation, mutt. what does it mean?
cease: Ossman's latest e-pistle
cease: I could have been hit by a speeding car, but then I wouldn't be here now.
Mutt: Force equals mass times acceleration. The car’s mass dwarfs Cat’s, so the impact force even at low acceleration is BIG
llanwydd: aha
cease: Will watch the home movies he talks about later when the drugs kick in.
Mutt: A wise choice XD
cease: I was lucky there wasnt much acceleration.
Beet: Hope you leal quickly, cease.
Beet: heal
cease: It does make we confront the fragility of life and time. Need to get Smetana done soonest, for Ukraine and my sake.
llanwydd: yeah cat
cease: me too, beet.
cease: thaknfuly wearing a thick winter coat. would have been much worse in summer attrire
Mutt: Absolutely
cease: starting to feel some neck pain today, probably related.
Mutt: You need to be seen by a doc
cease: getting worse. gonna take some tylenol
cease: not a bad idea
Mutt: Soft tissue injuries are common and often delayed in their expression
Mutt: You’ll feel ok for a day or three, then the injuries become apparent
cease: coluld well be. dont have any visible bruises but i'll make an appointment with my doc tomorrow.
cease: any thoughts on ossman's letter?
Beet: Looks like some progress is being made.
Mutt: Ot sounds promising
Mutt: It
cease: it does, beet.
cease: there should be urgency, considering their ages and the fact thre have been 3 pevious attemlpts at a firesign doc.
Mutt: David will be 90 this year, grid bless him
cease: i'm a mere 75 and i feel a real urgency to get Smetana finished. Centennial too, but i'm stil writing that.
cease: they all expected him to be the first to go.
cease: could be the last.
cease: though i thikn proc's new girl friend is youthening him.
Mutt: Good genes and clean living XD
cease: hnigng out with LIttle Feat and Taj Mahal. Pretty decent old age.
Mutt: Love TM
Beet: Sounds great for Proc.
||||||||| Catherwood interjects: "Swell pizza!"
cease: I saw FST at the Ashgrove on New Year;s EVe, 1969 with Lighitng Hopkins and Taj.
Mutt: Wow. Did those two play together or no?
cease: I thought Taj was the highl-light, particlularly john simon's piano on Aint Swine Whistle Dixie, one of my faves.
cease: Taj and Simon were on last year's blues cruise. this year its LF
cease: Proc, Bergman and Simon all shared a girl friend.
Mutt: Simultaneously?
cease: not that i know of.
Mutt: Thank ghod for that
cease: she left berman for simon. i'm not sure when she was with proc.
cease: She was a nurse in SF. Bergman drove up to see her, got a cold and died a couple of days later.
Mutt: Like the sands of the hor glass, so are the days of our lives
cease: lol
Beet: I did some serial sharing with a Greek girl in Massachusetts
Mutt: We have a winner, ladies and gentlemen
cease: Olypia Dukakis?
Beet: Her name was Lilly.
cease: common name.
Beet: She was quite the firecracker.
cease: bergman wanted to name his duaghter Winston (after chuchill) was convined to give her a girl's name.
cease: lucky for Lili Bergman.
cease: The gril's name was Brooke. She went to Turkey with Pete.
||||||||| Gusts of wind blow in from outside and the thumpa-thumpa-thumpa of helicopter blades is heard as Happy Panditt's chopper lands on the lawn and Woody 1 disembarks at 8:00 PM.
cease: Based on accounts from Firesign Theatre’s history, particularly recollections from fellow member Phil Proctor, Peter Bergman had a girlfriend named Brooke in the mid-1960s with whom he traveled to Turke
cease: HI Woody 1
cease: that's google's reesident AI
Woody 1: Evening, cease. Beet?
Beet: Hello, Woody.
cease: you can catch up with the latest news by scrollig up, woody.
cease: some good firenews.
||||||||| It's 12:45 AM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| llanwydd - dead from jaundice
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
cease: by llan
Woody 1: Hello. I cannot scroll up very far. Hearing Dwarf as we speak.
cease: you can in the log
cease: back to before the beginning.
Beet: Classic
cease: i lived nesar chandler blvd for 9 years in LA. maybe my favourite steet in town.
cease: very tall trees
cease: more like North Van than LA
cease: i went to Chandler Elementry School.
Woody 1: Yup. Caught up, now.
cease: i've been collecting sound effects this afternoon.
Woody 1: How is that going? going?
Mutt: Hey Woody!
Woody 1: Hey, Mutt. Have we passed that giant taco past the toasted burrito?
cease: with tweeny producing, i'm hoping to have it out, by the spinrg maybe.
||||||||| Catherwood interjects: "I think we're all Bozos on this bus."
Mutt: Lemme see here … no, no you gotta take the left at Cock’s Bridge
Woody 1: Over by the Belgian Crayon.
Mutt: That’s the place!
||||||||| Catherwood enters the room, strikes a gong, and bellows "THE TIME IN NEW YORK IS 1 O'CLOCK", then silently exits.
Woody 1: I adore Just Folks. Brother and I were in hysterics in the mid of night at folks' house.
Woody 1: We were both blottered. Imagine that one.
Mutt: Me too. It was the last album I tracked down and I loved it to death
cease: ong ago there was a regular chatter who went by "rotonoto"
Mutt: Think he might’ve popped up here a year or so back
cease: you could be right
||||||||| Catherwood stumbles in and announces "Presenting 'GregArias', just granted probation at 8:00 PM", then leaves hurriedly.
Woody 1: Pass the Indian Please is soooooo damn good.
cease: HI Greg
Mutt: Hey Greg!
cease: that's from Austin's A Show Move UPon a Land originally, woody
Mutt: Woody: That particular presentation of Indian still moves me
Mutt: Just as PA finishes his final speech there is a pause between him asking Isn’t it? Chills
cease: well spotted, mutt
Woody 1: Yep. Album ends with a bang, then back to chatter. Classic.
Mutt: AndvInreally mean chills. The bell tolls and then he asks the question.
Beet: Greetings, Greg.
Woody 1: 3 people have said Greg. I don't get it.
Beet: Well, gotta go. This was fun. Nice to see all of you. Have a good weekend. See you next time. G'Nite.
Mutt: A chatter named Greg is signed onto chat
Woody 1: Night Beet
Mutt: See ya Beet! Be well
cease: by beet
Mutt: I swiped my copy of Just Folks from the library of my college radio station. Couldn’t find a copy anywhere at the tome
||||||||| Catherwood interjects: "No, no my boy, you're confused. The horizon's moving up!"
Woody 1: So, Ossman's releasing a film? I think that's what I read. Wait a minute. I better check the other side of the record.
cease: it's in production, woody
cease: i give him ideas and he passes them on to The Producers.
cease: spring time for peorgie in germany
Woody 1: Truly? That's paramount, cease.
||||||||| Catherwood enters with BobDCaterino close behind, mutters something about disrupting his 8:00 PM tree-stunting plans, and scurries off to the vestibule.
cease: HI Bob
cease: Haven't seen you here in a while
Mutt: Howdy Bob!
Woody 1: Peggy, who was on her way to the top, just told me she was getting off. I'm going with her. See ya, kiddos. Gnight.
cease: I just quoted that line in my substack about gehry. he was in both the simpsons and firesign, the twin mt everests of us culture
||||||||| Bob Handlejob waltzes in at 8:00 PM carrying an obsidian door knocker.
Mutt: See ya Woody!
||||||||| At 8:00 PM, Woody 1 dashes out the door saying "Hey, mister ice-cream man, I've got a nickel, wait for meeeee..."
Mutt: Looks like were in a meeting of the Funny Names Club of Amerika
cease: by woody
cease: could be, could be
Mutt: When flapdoodle gets here we’ll know for sure
cease: purloined/loin is a joke they made in their fools in space show, about bergman losing brooke to simon.
cease: what's a job to a dog?
Mutt: Life
cease: the more i hear this, the more i like it.
||||||||| GregArias is kicked out just as the clock strikes 8:00 PM.
: xebgtfhjumk.l
||||||||| Catherwood stumbles in and announces "Presenting 'llanwydd', just granted probation at 8:00 PM", then leaves hurriedly.
Mutt: I have had that experience
||||||||| It's 1:45 AM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| Bob Handlejob - dead from dengue fever
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
Mutt: Welcome back Llan
cease: Did you notice this was the Patty Duke Show theme?
Mutt: No i did not. You’re right!
cease: what happened?
Mutt: What?
cease: ah, it's back.
||||||||| Catherwood interjects: "There's one crawling up my leg!"
cease: my feed went off. just renewed it.
Mutt: Llan your private messages to cease are coming to me Mutt
llanwydd: once again wecgtrftvhbyjknuiml,;o'p.[/
Mutt: I feel like Nino the Mind Boggler!
llanwydd: lol murr
llanwydd: mutt
cease: llan has been in a few of my plays, mutt. he's really good
cease: play einstein in the one I have in production now.
Mutt: Just wanted you both to know what was happening
llanwydd: that was great fun, cat
cease: an dyou'll be playing the german chancellor in new play. still writing that part, but it's the biggfest by far
||||||||| "8:00 PM? I'm late!" exclaims Deputy Dang, who then dashes out through the french doors and down through the bushes.
Mutt: That was great.
Mutt: Thanks to Tween! AndCat!
cease: by dang
cease: we do our brest.
cease: or as jimmy carter would say, "why not the best?"
||||||||| Catherwood enters the room, strikes a gong, and bellows "THE TIME IN NEW YORK IS 2 O'CLOCK", then silently exits.
llanwydd: nite folks
||||||||| Catherwood interjects: "It was hotter than Hooker in Heater today, and hotter than Heater in Hellmouth."
||||||||| cease leaves to catch the 8:00 PM train to Elmertown.
Mutt: Llan, Cease have a great week Hope you both feel better and cease go to the doc!
||||||||| llanwydd departs at 8:00 PM, singing "Toad away, toad away; toad away, toad away! Where do you go when you're toad away?"
||||||||| 8:00 PM -- Mutt left for parts unknown. (Entry from Nick Danger's "Idiots I Have Been Paid To Follow").
||||||||| It's 2:30 AM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| Beet - dead from dengue fever
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
||||||||| It's 2:45 AM, and that means it's time to play BEAT THE REAPER! And here's how our contestants did:
||||||||| BobDCaterino - dead from Globner's disease
||||||||| Better luck next time! And now, back to our chatroom, which is already in progress...
||||||||| Catherwood enters, and announces to all and sundry "It's 4:31 AM, time to change the log file and clean out unused rooms; please exit the chat room for a minute or two. Thank you for your patience."

The Evening's Participants:

Beet
cease
Deputy Dang
llanwydd
Mutt
Woody 1

URL References:
http://listen.ehhh.us:8000/rfd1
http://listen.ehhh.us:8000/rfd2
www.kurtericson.net/cat
www.kurtericson.net/firesign